Writer's Note: 'The Following is For Entertainment Purposes Only’

By Alphonso Costello

Boxing’s pound-for-pound champion is a mythological concept much like the NCAA college football national championship. Pound-for-pound is a term used to describe the world’s best fighters regardless of weight. Just like the college football national championship, the media selects the pound-for-pound king.

I have compiled the definitive top-ten pound-for-pound list by using a comprehensive blend of complex mathematical formulas, computer generated ratings and human judgment.

Rankings updated through January 20

1. Zahir Raheem (29-2, 17 KO’s) - Lightweight

His one punch 78 second knockout victory was sweet. Fighting a striking Hollywood writer was not.

2. Emanuel Augustus (35-29-6, 18 KO's) - Welterweight

Floyd Mayweather's toughest opponent has found a new promoter and is moving up to the welterweight division. According to a Sin City Boxing press release, "Emanuel Augustus is one of the most talented, exciting and entertaining fighters in the pro game today." Yeah and Hillary Clinton is the Sexiest Man Alive.

3. DeMarcus “Chop Chop” Corley (31-8-1, 17 KO’s) - Junior Welterweight

It’s time to trade the boxing gloves for women’s panties. Corley is riding a four fight losing streak and designing g-strings is a lot better than being punched in the head.

4. Brian Viloria (20-2, 12 KO’s) - Super Flyweight

The former 108-pound titlist returned to the winner’s circle with an eight-round unanimous decision victory at the Alameda Swap Meet in Los Angeles. Immediately after the fight Viloria returned to his day job as a t-shirt vendor. Selling three t-shirts for 10 dollars is quite a bargain at the swap meet.

5. Paulie Malignaggi (24-1, 5 KO’s) - Junior Welterweight title holder

Malignaggi kicked off his 2008 campaign with a successful title defense, but not everyone was impressed with his performance. According to one moronic Canadian sports writer, Malignaggi’s victory over Herman Ngoudjo was the worst decision he has seen in half a century. However it wasn’t as bad as my decision to watch “Magic Man: The Paulie Malignaggi Story.”

6. James Toney (70-6-3-1, 43 KO’s) - Heavyweight

Vassiliy Jirov called out Toney asking for a rematch of their 2003 Fight of the Year. Jirov says he wants to fight a steroid free Toney. Although Toney tested positive for steroids on two occasions, he continues to deny ever injecting steroids into his system. He just ate them.

7. Glen Johnson (47-11-2, 32 KO’s) - Light Heavyweight

The “Road Warrior” will get another title shot against WBC titlist Chad Dawson on April 12. But don’t forget “Road Warrior” is just another way of saying journeyman.

8. Bernard Hopkins (48-4-1, 32 KO’s) - Light Heavyweight Paper Champion

Yes according to a piece of paper Hopkins is the light heavyweight champion. But in reality “The Executioner” is just another alphabet soup titleholder. And how do you spell alphabet soup? R-I-N-G Magazine.

9. Thomas Costello (3-0, 1 KO) - Junior Welterweight

Just by looking at this hot young prospect’s record you know that the name Costello is synonymous with the word perfection. But it’s a matter of time before my third cousin twice removed joins a long list of Costello’s in the unemployment line. Or worse, writing an online pound-for-pound list.

10. Floyd Mayweather Jr. (39-0, 25 KO’s) - World Welterweight Champion

A rematch with Oscar De La Hoya is on the horizon for "Funny Money Maryweather." However, both sides are quarreling over a stipulation that the loser must dress in drag. Gee, I wonder who the loser is going to be?

OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES:

Roger Clemens, Manny Pacquiao, Marion Jones, Manny Pacquiao, 50 Cent, Manny Pacquiao