Writer's Note: 'The Following is For Entertainment Purposes Only’

By Alphonso Costello

Boxing’s pound-for-pound champion is a mythological concept much like the NCAA college football national championship. Pound-for-pound is a term used to describe the world’s best fighters regardless of weight. Just like the college football national championship, the media selects the pound-for-pound king.

I have compiled the definitive top-ten pound-for-pound list by using a comprehensive blend of complex mathematical formulas, computer generated ratings and human judgment.

Rankings updated through Jan.14

1. Rocky Balboa (57-22-1, 54 KO’s) - The Ex-Ex-Ex World Heavyweight Champion

The 59-year old Balboa shocked the world by going the distance with Antonio Tarver. This grand accomplishment will now go along side his wins against Apollo Creed, Clubber Lang, Ivan Drago and Spider Rico. But Balboa will always be remembered for pulling a ‘Mayweather’ and ducking Tommy Morrison.

2. Antonio Margarito (34-4, 24 KO’s) - WBO Welterweight Champion

How can Margarito be the most feared man in boxing when he’s ducking his mandatory challenger?

3. Edwin Valero (21-0, 21 KO’s) - WBA Super Featherweight Champion

Don’t be fooled by his record, he made the list because of his Steve Nash hairdo.

4. Donald Trump - Entrepreneur

Speaking of hairdos the Donald’s computer generated rankings went off the charts when he decided to take on the James Toney of daytime television Rosie O’Donnell.

5. Nate “The Title Eliminator” Campbell (29-5-1, 24 KO’s) - Lightweight

The talented, but inconsistent lightweight claimed the fifth spot and overcame Manny Pacquiao’s strength of schedule by scoring higher on his IQ test.

6. Manny Pacquiao (43-3-2, 34 KO’s) - Super Featherweight

Manny makes George W. Bush look like Albert Einstein.

7. Kimbo Slice (5-1, 5 KO’s) - YouTube Street Fighting Champion

The 268-pound man beast makes his pound-for-pound debut.

8. Emanuel Augustus (34-28-6, 18 KO’s) - WBC Continental Americas Junior Welterweight Champion

The ultimate tomato can proved why he’s the best 28-loss fighter in the world. Augustus dropped a lopsided decision to lightweight prospect “Kid Diamond” on only two days notice.

9. Travis Simms (25-0, 19 KO’s) - WBA Junior Middleweight Champion

Showing his super natural strength at 154, Simms went to the Manny Pacquiao School of Super Human Power and destroyed a brave Jose Antonio Rivera to reclaim his title.

10. Jose Armando Santa Cruz (23-2, 13 KO’s) - Lightweight

Santa Cruz makes his pound-for-pound debut by defeating Luis Arceo. But he’s only one loss away from manning the grill at Dino’s Burgers.

MISSING THE CUT:

Mike Tyson (50-6, 44 KO’s) - Former Undisputed Heavyweight Champion

The late great Rick James once said “cocaine is a hell of a drug” and so are amphetamines, just ask Barry Bonds.

Tyrese - Multi-faceted Entertainer

This former male fashion model decided to take an easy tune-up fight by allegedly punching his pregnant girlfriend in the arm and thigh. A lucrative pay-per-view celebrity match against Jim Lampley is just around the corner.

Von Kaiser (23-13, 10 KO’s)- Junior Welterweight

Known to many as the German Emanuel Augustus, Kaiser is a savvy ring veteran with tendencies to clown around when the fight is going his way.

Samuel Peter (28-1, 22 KO’s) - Heavyweight

Peter should leave the “Ali Shuffle” at home and do what he really does best. And that’s bludgeon his opponents in the back of the head.

Jenna Jameson - Adult Film Actress

The self-made millionaire was offered a mainstream role in “Rocky Balboa”, but was passed over for the slab of meat that Sylvester Stallone pounded into submission during the training montage.